Happy Thanksgiving! I am grateful to you for following along on my writing journey. Whatever your plans are this week, I hope you savor the time with friends and family.
This newsletter comes out every other Thursday and hopefully provides you with thought-provoking content about the mundane, wacky, and weird. I will be writing until the 75th edition. If you know someone who may enjoy the newsletter, share it with them here.
Last year in Utah, I rediscovered a childhood joy of mine, sledding. It was a Sunday morning at my friend Tim Sweeney’s bachelor party in Park City and most people were still asleep. However, a few of us grabbed a couple of sleds from the garage and went sledding down the back of the property.
Sledding is often tossed aside as childish. If you look at any town after a heavy snowfall there will be adults at the top of the hill chatting while the kids make the rounds up and down the hill.
However, sledding that day was the epitome of play. A friendly competition racing down the hills, but without keeping score. Continually improvising to push my edge by adding in little mounds for jumps and taking new routes. The unpredictable nature of the snow and the speed of the hill made it easy to lose track of time.
What is play?
There are many types of play. It can be collecting stamps, tossing a ball or dancing. What they all have in common is, “it offers a sense of engagement and pleasure, takes the player out of a sense of time and place, and the experience of doing it is more important than the outcome.” Here are 8 player personalities. You can be any mix of these, but typically people gravitate to 1-2 more often.
Often play is engaging in a low-stakes activity that allows you to take on new roles. For example, picking up pickleball.
Picking up a new sport like pickleball hits on so many elements of true play, being active outside, building community with people, learning new movements and skills. However, once the game crosses over to higher stakes, it becomes a game about outcomes instead of play. For instance, I would wager that Roger Federer doesn’t view Tennis as a form of play.
Why do adults stop playing? In short, we have more things to do and don’t prioritize it. We feel like being serious is the appropriate thing to do. There is social pressure to stick to the script, but many people are waiting to burst out of their shell and be goofy or take part in a game.
The New York Times magazine had a feature article on play. What do you notice about the cover?
It’s all kids! The message is clear. Play is for children. However, play can and should also be for adults.
It merely takes someone with a little imagination and courage to initiate. I’ve noticed myself getting more playful when I got my dog Chloe, being outside with friends, and even when I grew out my hair a couple of years ago. They all nudged me to be a little sillier and to think a little more creatively.
We don’t stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing”.
Many animals also play. Animals that engage in playful behaviors for the longest period of time are also the animals that have the greatest neuroplasticity. That is, the brains ability to change in response to experience. Animals who only play for a small part of their life, have very rigid brains that don’t learn new things. Animals who play throughout their life continue to learn. Maybe that’s why you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? 🤔.
Dogs exhibit playfulness with humans and other dogs. A classic dog posture for play is the “dog bow”. It is a non-aggressive inviting pose. My dog Chloe will even get down on all fours and wag her tail.
Here are a few benefits of playing for adults.
Reduced anxiety - A 2013 study found that playful adults reported having lower stress levels. Play also helped them use healthier coping styles like acceptance and positive reframing.
Boosts physical health - A 2016 study showed that children were more likely to be intrinsically motivated to exercise when having fun, like tossing a football or splashing in the water. The same can hold true for adults; when exercise feels like play instead of a “hard workout”, adults are more likely to engage in it.
Better relationships - According to Peter Gray, a research professor of psychology at Boston College, “Play primarily evolved to teach children all kinds of skills, and its extension into adulthood may have helped to build cooperation and sharing among hunter-gathers beyond the level that would naturally exist in a dominance-seeking species.” In other words, play helps us cooperate with others and learn new skills. It also brings joy to a relationship and can help establish trust.
Despite being against the norm, playing as an adult is still achievable. Check out this 20-second video of a father and son sledding and try not to smile.
(This is the best link that will loop my favorite part of the video).
Get playing
Based on the literature, try getting at least one hour of play a week. Studies, also show that “playfulness” can be trained. After all, it was partly trained out of us through schooling and sitting at a desk all day. Play is a mindset. Two people could be throwing the frisbee back and forth and one could be playing and the other is not.
Think back to your childhood, what ways did you play? For me, it was often movement-related, sledding, wallball, playing tag, and building forts. My Mom at the age of 72 has picked up playing the violin again. Yours might be a crafts project, video games, or creating a scavenger hunt.
Whatever way you like to play, get out and do it! Your mind, body, and relationships will thank you.
Which state produces the most NBA players?
Following my curiosity, I created this google sheet ranking the states that have produced the most NBA players.
Can you figure out why New Hampshire ranks 3rd and Vermont ranks 49th? What US state comes in 1st? Hint: It’s where Larry Bird “the hick from French Lick” is from.
A perspective on aging
“The way to grow old is kind of like an onion or like the rings inside a tree trunk or like my little wooden dolls that fit one inside the other, each year inside the next one.
What they don’t understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you’re eleven, you’re also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one.
And when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you don’t. You open your eyes and everything’s just like yesterday, only it’s today. And you don’t feel eleven at all. You feel like you’re still ten. And you are—underneath the year that makes you eleven”.
“Eleven” by Sandra Cisneros
Quote I’m pondering
“Legacy is the world you leave behind for the ones you love the most”.
-Bill McKibben speaking with Ezra Klein on climate change
Pic of the Week
Our friends Kate and Adam hosted us at their cabin in the Sierra mountains. We took advantage of the early season snow and went sledding. Chloe tried to squeeze her way onto our little sled.