This newsletter comes out every other Thursday and hopefully provides you with thought-provoking content about the mundane, wacky, and weird. If you enjoy the newsletter, please share it with a friend and let me know your thoughts.
This past Saturday, I was standing around the campfire with my best friend, Sam, and 10 of his closest friends. We were in rural Vermont and despite the rain pelting our faces, we were able to start a fire. We told stories about Sam all the way back from embarrassing middle school moments to shenanigans in his 20s. As luck would have it, I also have another bachelor party for my good friend Dan Dozark starting tomorrow in Key West.
Here's a candid shot of us taking a break on our canoe trip down the Connecticut River.
🍻 Today's topic will be diving into the world of bachelor parties. I'll leave bachelorette parties to someone else.
Bachelor parties have a long history dating back to ancient Rome. Spartan soldiers held a dinner in their friend's honor and made toasts on his behalf. The term bachelor historically means a young knight or a student with a bachelor's degree, which first appeared in the Canterbury tales from 14th century England.
Until the 1980s bachelor parties or "stag" parties as they are known in the UK were more tame and formal events. They involved a nice dinner with the bride's father and the groom's friends and family. It felt more like a rehearsal dinner than a weekend at the beach. Here's a typical stag party in the 19th century, which was mostly reserved for the upper class.
Thanks, in part to the Tom Hanks 1984 movie "Bachelor Party" and other Hollywood shows, bachelor parties took on a more raucous element in the 1980s.
In the past couple of decades, there has been a rise in "destination bachelor parties". The top 3 destinations are Vegas, Miami, and New Orleans. All of these locations require most of the attendees to fly in and figure out transportation. Attending just nine bachelor parties in a lifetime will set you back $13,788, — about one-third of the down payment on a median-value U.S. home. The United States isn’t alone either. After the release of the “Hangover” movie series, the idea of an extravagant weekend is becoming global. Bachelor parties from Israel to India are becoming more extravagant.
The ugly side of bachelor parties
I've attended a few bachelor parties but was surprised to hear how many bachelor's cheat on their fiancé. According to a survey of 1,800 people, about a third of all bachelor's cheat on their bachelor party.
Another study shows the number is closer to 1-2% which feels more accurate.
I reached out to a college friend who owns a bachelor party planning company in Nashville. He said that "about 20% of bachelors cheat during their weekend, and it is just as bad from the bachelorette standpoint".
Some bachelors justify their behavior as their "last night of freedom" before getting married. However, for most relationships, that is simply not true. The "last night of freedom", was the day before they went on a date with their now fiancé.
The positive side of bachelor parties
Bachelor parties are at their best when the weekend is uniquely suited to the groom and there are plenty of opportunities for people to bond. It is one of the few occasions in a person's life where he can gather his closest friends from all over to one place for one weekend.
The only other time that happens is milestone birthdays, weddings, and funerals. You don't have to have a cliche weekend of Vegas bottle service, gambling, and strippers unless that is your prerogative. One way we made Sam's bachelor party uniquely his, was driving over an hour to a small town YMCA to play pickup basketball. It was Sam's weekend and he called the shots.
Nowadays, a combination bachelor and bachelorette party is becoming more common. For me, I like the idea of getting all my guy friends together for a weekend, but I'll take a hard pass on Vegas and the strippers.
Read to collect the dots, write to connect them.
Source: David Perrell
13th Floor
I am staying in a wonderful Airbnb in Miami this week between my two bachelor parties in a high-rise apartment complex. I had heard that elevators skip the 13th floor because people don't want to live on the floor of an unlucky number. I had never noticed it until this week and snapped this pic.
What are other superstitious things we do? I would love to hear from you.
Music I am enjoying
I heard someone singing this song on the street in Miami and had it stuck in my head the rest of the night. Feeling Good by Nina Simone has been sampled and covered many times, but hers is still the best version. Spotify link.
Pic of the Week
My parents celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary! They have been a great example of a loving relationship. To celebrate they spent a few days in Beaufort, South Carolina, and Savannah, Georgia.